Blessings

Today was a God day :) Tonight is a star night :) Miss Deanna, Betsy, Russ, I CAN'T even begin to tell you how much your 3 comments meant to me...but I was blessed. Thank you :) I'll definitely say it more personally and uniquely to each of you very soon! Emily was Baptized today!!! And I've seen God work in the big and small prayers of my life lately. I can finally say, after years of struggling with it in my head and heart, I truly do trust God with everything that is given or thrown my way. I haven't felt that way sense I first accepted Christ 6 years ago! Our God Reigns! Dios Te Bendiga my friend :D

Day 39

Tomorrow is the end of the 40 day devotions that Matt had prepared for us for our Disciple Now event. However, it's only the beginning of a different kind of lifestyle and walk that God has prepared for me, and hopefully each and every one of us as well!

Read Matthew 28:18-20

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


1. What does Jesus mean by all authority?

2. What is our role in making disciples?

3. How can spending time in the word, fasting, or focusing on God, play a role in disciple making?

4. Pray specifically that you would grow in your relationship with Christ as a result of the experiences that you've been through.

5. Journal any thoughts you may have.


"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." What a promise! :)

Chivalry is Dead.

“Chivalry is dead.”

Those were the words that one of the girls in my social work class spoke on Friday. I let the quote stand, hurting on the inside, sadly understanding why she felt that way. In fact, it could legitimately be argued that chivalry was simply an idea that idealized the sexist views of men that wanted to see themselves in a higher light.
But I have a question for the men reading this post…is it wrong to want to see yourself in a higher light?


We were, after all, created in God’s image weren’t we?


I’m sick and tired of hearing the stories of “dudes” that only want what they can get from a girl…aren’t you? I’m sick and tired of hearing about the “guys” that are only interested in the “surface” qualities of the girls they like. But in some way shape or form, are any of us any different from those “men”?


We don’t EVER need to be the kind of men that want to see a woman as anything less than the person that God has made her to be. However, deep down I feel that some of us “men” know these things already. Instead, let’s cover a deeper and darker side of man’s character. Let’s talk about our desires and lusts. Yes, I said it.


Why is it so easy to fall into the trap of pornography, sex, lusts, and any sexually immoral thought that knocks on the door? Why is it so easy for “men” to getting tired of fighting these temptations and give in? If you don’t believe you are strong enough to face the temptations for as long as you have them…read 1 Corinthians 10:13 and 2 Peter 1:3-4 and then go tell God He’s a liar. If you’re that clever, I mean idiotic…then be my guest.


Men were made to bring joy and honor to God. We were created to be passionate, but honorable. How many of you have ever struggled with this dilemma? How many of you stopped struggling and just decided to flat out “cave in”? Are you one of God’s knights? Or have you pledged your allegiance to the Lord of Lust? Is she a girl whose heart is sacred? Or is she just a object that you can enjoy for a brief moment…until that moment passes and you are left with God’s truth ringing in your ears. There’s no way out right? I don’t understand right? It’s not what I think right? But it’s still wrong. Let me give you a reason to keep fighting:


"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

You get that? YOU are NOT your own. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You were bought out of sin, slavery, and death...at the highest of prices. A price you could NEVER pay. Doesn't that bring about a love and willingness to do what the one who saved you asks of you? Now live like it. Honor God with your body. I'm sick and tired of the lie that us "men" are being asked to believe..."it's not that big of a deal, if ...."

AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM! DON'T RATIONALIZE IT! DON'T JUSTIFY IT! DON'T MAKE AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR DESIRES! OWN IT, ADMIT IT, FIGHT IT, KILL IT! If any of this applies to you, be brave...bite the bullet and take it. It's the only thing to do.


Imagine with me:
You’re now a father, happily married, with two beautiful daughters. Sometimes when I’m spending time with young children it’s not so hard for me to imagine what it must feel like to be a father. I imagine what it was like when she was born, and cradling her when she’s asleep or not feeling well. I picture her getting hurt and how I would hold her close. Then I see achievements and imagine the pride that a father must feel as his daughter comes back to let him know how well she did on the test or in the play! I see myself ready to defend her honor and brazenly daring anyone to make her cry again. She moves through middle School and into high school. Can you picture her yet? You talk to her about dating and college, I don’t know about you, I start feel a lump in my throat…a pain in knowing she’s almost gone. I feel rage and sorrow as she’s picked on for standing for what she believes in. You’ve walk with her, talked with her, and laughed and cried with her. In fact, you know her better than any other man alive. And here comes some random guy out of the blue.
“Who are you? What are you like? How long have you prayed for her? All I know is that I’m carrying the torch for my daughter, and no sense of style, cool car, or pretty boy smile will trick it out of my hand. My investment is too great. After all, I don’t know you, but I have to put my trust entirely in you. Don’t you owe me, him, some faithfulness and honor? Don’t you owe him a few good defenses against your own passions?”
I realize that I don’t know what it’s like to actually be in that man’s position. But I do know that it’s not far off from what a father should feel. Don’t we want to trust others with our futures, and if so, can we give people reason to trust in us?


That’s all I need to say. That girl that comes to mind when you read this, she’s someone’s daughter. That girl that comes to mind, she’s someone’s sister. That girl that comes to mind, she’s God’s daughter and princess.


Do you want to know that the girls in this world are seen the way you see them? Or when you read that statement, do you feel the pang of guilt?


Just as she’s God’s daughter and princess, you are God’s son and prince. You are royalty my friend! And our Father’s daughters are under attack, are you going to sit there and debate whether you’re going to join the enemy? Or are you going to step towards Satan with sword and shield in hand saying, “Get behind me Satan!” The time for apathy ended the day you let God “knight” you, the day that you answered His call. The time for excuses is over. The time for tolerance is over. The time for accepting what you “believe” can’t be helped is over!


We fight my brothers, we fight my friends, and it’s our responsibility to fight for all that is good. We fight for our God and King! If that means we have to fight against our nature, so be it. If we have to fight against our flesh, so be it. If that means we fight against our thoughts, so be it. If that means we fight against our desires, so be it. If we have to fight against all that we are, so be it! But DON’T fight against God’s calling in your life any longer! This life is too important to spend making the same mistakes, so don’t. Job, the man that went through everything Satan could throw at him, actually made a covenant with his eyes…promising that he would never look at a woman in a light that was dishonorable. So it’s doable! And don’t give me any of that crap that I got from one of my guy friends about how, “I’m not Job, and I’ve never been able to do things the way God wanted me to anyway.” Today is the first day of the rest of your life, now start it right.

Trust me brothers, God is big enough for all your temptations and weaknesses. God is faithful enough. God is capable of changing our hearts if we let Him in. Have you? If not...are you willing to? My God is the God of redemption…all He asks is that we don’t take advantage of it. Are you willing to take a stand for your future wife, daughter, and most importantly…for your God?

Day 38

Read John 2:7-9

"Jesus said to the servants, 'Fill the jars with water'; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet. They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside...."


1. Have you ever heard God's voice speaking to your heart and telling you something specific to do?

2. How do you feel when God tells you something specific to do?

3. What was the job of the servants?

4. Could Jesus have done this miracle without them?

5. Why did he use them?

6. Are we responsible for the results when God calls us to do something specific?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Finally Friday

I know...3 posts back to back...but you gotta do whatcha gotta do :D


So I find myself lying on the carpeted floor, in my dorm room, listening to Jon Foreman's Your Love is Strong on repeat. I'm not bad off mind you, never really can be, after all I've lived my life without a purpose before, without God. Once you know what, or should I say whom, life is truly about, you find it's easier to fight the lies Satan throws your way. But it is still quite a battle, or at least for me it is.

Yesterday was rough for me. I managed to get myself cursed out badly by someone with a temper. Which typically wouldn't phase me much, but it hurt me where I didn't realize it would. I also managed to put myself in a situation that was really uncomfortable, but worse...I didn't know to handle. Not that knowing how I could handle it would have made things better, perhaps being okay with uncertainty is something God is trying to teach me...if so, it's starting to work. At least somewhat.

Worship last night was one of the major things I really needed last night. That and a text from a friend, encouraging me of some things that I needed to hear. And reading from a picture book in worship made the devotion time all the better! ;) I mean how often does a group of college students have a picture book read out loud to them as a devotion (Max Lucado's You are Special). Better yet, I wasn't stoned by an angry mob afterwards, lstm.

I guess I'm just trying to relax and get my thoughts together before I feel like it begins again. Regardless, God is bigger than anything else in life. And if we remember that the past is past, that the future can wait, and that the moment is now...perhaps life won't be able to knock us down nearly as often.

And when we are knocked down, I know the guy that does the picking up. He Rocks!

Day 37

I'm going to do today's devotion back to back with the my last post, simply because I'll be on the road until 3-4 am tonight...so I "probably" won't want to update when I get home. ;P

Read Matthew 18:5-6

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

1. What did Jesus mean to become like children?

2. Express your desires to be like a child in your walk with God.

3. What kind of influence do you want to have with others?

4. What are some opportunities you've had in the past few days to be a fork in the road for people? How did you respond to those opportunities?

5. Pray specifically for those that look up to you or need you in life. Do you choose to be a light in their path?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.


"...it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Touche Jesus. Touche :)

Day 36

This is a day late, but I did do it last night, or this morning anyways...it was a REALLY long day :) So I'm counting this as yesterday. mwahahah

Read Matthew 15:16-20


"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "


1. What do your conversations reveal about your heart?

2. Are you like the Pharisees who did the right things but with selfish intentions?

3. How do you feel when you think of Jesus holding you accountable for every careless word?

4. Pray specifically for God to take any selfish intentions you have in your life. Pray for God to teach you not to be careless with your words.

5. Journal any thoughts you may have.


I think this is one of the biggest struggles in my life. Sometimes I catch myself doing the right things for the wrong reasons. Other times I find that I'm incredibly careless in what I say and do. If you want to see a sinner, turned pharisee, turned sinning pharisee, turned messed up. Look no further. "I now know only two things. I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great savior."

An Answered Prayer

I typed this out last night, but I needed to add some finishing touches :)


Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 - "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"


I've prayed for months that God would give me strength through the things that He needed me to handle, both big and small. Also asking that I’d be worthy of what He gave me. Well, I've been keeping a prayer journal to keep up with when I prayed and how and when it was answered. Wow. If you aren't sure how often God comes through...keep one of these...it's all the time! I was looking back over my journal today and found that one prayer still hadn't been marked by me - officially...a prayer for "strength to do the right things and to stay strong".

I realize that that is a rather broad prayer, but God rocks those too. I also realize that there were many times I could have marked it as answered. But it was today that it clicked for me. It was answered before I prayed it, but has been more evident lately! It was answered in you. All of you, regardless of whether you believe you're one of the ones I'm talking about...if you're reading this (and plenty who aren't) then you were part of the answer. I'm a hard-headed "fool of a Took" sometimes, but sometimes I can see the light...after a time, lstm.

I've always known how valuable my family and friends are to me, but then again…maybe I can never truly know completely. And I like to think I tell all of you that plenty often too, but in case I haven't:

I think that the reason I can enjoy each day is because of you! You are God's greatest gift to me, and an overwhelming source of my strength, values, and smiles. :D see?

-It has been 47 days since I HAVEN'T gotten at least one random text or phone call of encouragement from at least one of you guys! I realize that sometimes I do the same, but that is DEFINITELY a Blessing I didn't expect! (Yes, I do realize that I keep up with random things in my journal) :)

This week alone:

- I was checked on by those that were concerned. I was made to laugh by those that know my weaknesses ;) I was confronted when I was wrong. I was encouraged when I was right. I was sent scripture, called just for the sake of it, and texted all kinds of humorous and special things. I was loved when I was trying to show to love. I was forgiven when I was trying to forgive. I saw strength through pain. I saw faith through hardship. I worshiped with you. I talked over distances with you. I was given a gift that I didn't deserve, your friendship, much like most of my life in general. I was reminded that I'm so far away from being the man God needs me to be, but also reminded that you know I can make it. Just as He reminds me too.

I guess what I'm saying is that when I pray, more often than not...God uses the people in my lives like all of you. :) And I couldn't have asked for more, nor will I. If you ever need me in your lives, I'm there. If it means driving across the country and back, I'm simply driving towards an answered prayer ;)
I found myself wanting to list every single one of you and the ways you’ve made my life better, so I will, but more creatively than you may be able to handle ;) If the name means nothing to you, feel free to skip it...though if you figure out more than 5 of these (not counting your own) I'll be QUITE impressed!

To:


Prom Kraft Mac N’Cheese - Thank you for acceptance and understanding.

Deli Minstrel – Thank you for being unconditional when I’m not the same way.

Mikeschair Celtic Pin - Thank you for reminding me that I’m remembered.

D.C. Val – Thank you for letting me be myself.

Recurved Courtesy C. – Thank you for letting me be blunt and returning the favor.

Relinquished Drummer – Thank you for always picking up where we left off.

Hornet Horse - Thank you for putting me first when I don’t even realize or deserve it.

Dr. Senorita – Thank you for knowing when I need you.

Unsure Linguist – Thank you for reminding me to see the other side of a story.

Snow Queen- Thank you for being sarcastic when I need it and sympathetic when I don’t.

Reformed Firefly- Thank you for seeing a kindred spirit and using heart not head.

4 out of 5- Thank you for making me laugh and listening when I talk too much.

Hand Sanitizing Granger- Thank you for caring so much when I’m not always the same.

Dr. Lactose Intolerant- Thank you for always smiling for others.

Master'piece- Thank you for being a rock in the faith even when times are hard.

Thomas "Fin"- Thank you for the consistency of the most ridiculous but funny texts ever.

German Hot Chocolate giver – Thank you for being a consistent voice of confidence and hope.

Have I told you? – Thank you for making it past the trials with me without changing.

The Ogre – Thank you for teaching me that being true to ourselves is always important.

Roda “Cycle” – Thanks for reminding me that sarcasm can be amazing, just don’t push it ;)

Gummibear – Thanks for letting your joy out for all to see.

“Johnson Foreman” – Thanks for singing with me when life needs more than one singer.

Mississippi Sawyer – Thanks for always coming through in the pinches of my life.

Major Cuddly - Thanks for not cuddling me. But honestly, thanks for teaching me that life is what you make it.

Cheese headed Champ – Thanks for giving incredible hugs and battling the forces or Sauron with me.

Comp. Chess Kid – Thanks for being an example of thought before action, but action in love.

Jewels - Thanks for returning the favor when I’m out of energy and teaching me that we can keep going.

Chinese Rabbit – Thanks for the stories and poems that touch my heart.

KP of BF – Thanks for a bible verse every week and a laugh every time.

Math Nurse – Thanks for teaching me that seeing mistakes simply means learning from them.

Note to follow So – Thanks for teaching me that no matter what you go through it can be fixed.

Jo of Oysters – Thanks for reminding me that you can always keep in touch even when distant.

Service D. of the W- Thanks for being a loyal friend to those who need you.

Storyteller- Thanks for making me want to write a great story and teaching me to be bold.

Jephthah's daughter- Thanks for being solid and helping me learn that my view isn’t always the only view.

L Grace- Thanks for seeking and letting me be there to help.

British Ice Cream- Thanks for being there to laugh when I need laughter and tell me when to act.

Doc Holiday- Thanks for being there when I needed someone to just say it like it is.

Creative Bel Writer- Thanks for seeing me as a confidant even when I felt like I wasn’t deserving.

Engaging Bassist- Thank you for seeing my bad side and good side, and vice versa. Still here aren’t we?

Fighting Toast I am – Thank you for proving that two people with the most different of backgrounds can be brothers in days.

Warrior4Him- Thanks for not letting pain take you, and teaching me how to do the same.

PinkSaylor- Thanks for trusting me when you didn’t even know if you could, may I be the same.

Buttercup- Thanks for always believing in me, even when I felt that I wasn’t a brother at all.

Beam Me Up Mr. R- Thanks for proving that youth is in the heart, not the body.

RedArcher- Thanks for seeing me as a role model…now I see you that way instead.

A Medieval Price- Thanks for random accents and for letting my friendship mean something.

A Disney Frenna- Thanks for letting me not give up on you. Thanks for never giving up on me.

RollT- Thanks for saving me on more than one occasion from academic trouble, and for grinning in the process.

Lt. Danger- Thanks for being loyal to a fault to all that know you. If I saw it as a problem, not anymore.

Sherman Tank- Thanks for being my brother in arms, even before I knew it.


If you came to mind, or didn't (which I honestly don't think is possible), know that you are SOO much more than the statement of difference I gave. My life is incredible because of the choices that you've made. All of you fit many of those qualities I listed in my life, and many that were too sentimental or personal to even go in to. All of you have made me smile, even as I typed out your "name". All of you have pointed to Jesus in my life. I guess what I'm trying to say is...thank you. If I died today, I would die blessed beyond all measure. May God protect you until we speak again (and beyond ;)


“And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.”

Day 35

Read Matthew 15:3-6

"Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it."

1. Why do you think God gave a promise with this command to honor our parents?

2. Describe your relationship with your parents. (How well do you communicate? How do you communicate in conflict? What causes conflict? What creates tension? Do you love them enough to work through the conflict and tension?)

3. Do you listen well to your parents?

4. What is your own personal motive for obeying your parents?

5. Do you agree or disagree with this statement: Honoring your parents doesn't mean you agree with them.

6. What one thing do you need to do to honor your parents more?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 34

Read Matthew 10:34

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."

1. In what ways did Jesus come to bring peace?

2. In what ways did Jesus come to bring conflict?

3. Have you ever thought of Jesus bringing conflict?

4. Has he ever brought conflict to your life?

5. Pray specifically for someone that you have a conflict with? Are you willing to look past it? Can you forgive them?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

A sister

My work day was epic! I would probably try to go into detail, but it's not really the focus of this post...so maybe later.

I actually wanted to talk about my family tonight. Specifically the females, oh boy. jk :)

When I walked in the house after work I was reminded what it's like to be a big brother again :) My mom was running to her yoga class (this is not the one that I go to), so I was left with my baby sister Anna. She seemed content, so I started to read one of my books, in the same room. All of a sudden, I realized that Anna had stopped playing with her toys, she was just looking at me. I put my book down and asked her what she was doing, she responded with: "I love you and I don't want to forget what you look like when you go to 'Awabama.'" I don't care who you are...that is one of those, "I love my sister more than I can explain moments!!!"

I went and picked her up and we decided to watch a movie. She wanted either to watch The Swan Princess or Beauty and the Beast...both of which we couldn't find O.o So we ended up watching The Sword and the Stone, which is not nearly as awesome (though still ok). The entire time she's sitting on my lap, asking me to rewind her favorite parts...which after about the 23rd time of watching the squirrel scene...it gets a little old...but I did it anyways :) She then proceeded to fall asleep in my lap during the last 20 minutes of the movies...so I sat and read with her there until dinner time. I love her.

I guess that's a part of what bothers me so much about moving to Birmingham. Knowing that I won't get to be the big brother that I should be. I downloaded skype the other night, and have used it a few times. And I'm teaching my family, but seriously...I'm already nowhere near the older brother I could be for any of my siblings. I don't do a bad job, it's just I don't do a great job either.

The second part of my night, that amused me, happened after dinner. I went walking at Strawberry patch park. I had the park to myself, since rain tends to scare others off ;) So as daydreamed/"nightdreamed" about knights, castles, God, resolutions, discipline, archery, yoga, yogi bear, worship, Antarctica and lions (it all connected in my mind, lstm)...I got a text from my mother asking if I was dead (I'd been out for almost 2 hours...oops). However, once I got home, I found my mother in the living room watching the bachelor. I carried on a 5 minute long conversation about why she was NOT allowed to nominate me, AND why the whole thing was ridiculous. After going upstairs to my room...she texted me asking when I would get to China.....

Not knowing what that meant...I texted her back...asking her what she meant. Her response? "When will you be home?" :D LOL I think I laughed at and with her for a solid 5 minutes when I brought back up our Bachelor conversation. Apparently, she thought she had been daydreaming. It must run in the family ;)

So I guess the point of this post is to say: I love my family so much!!! :D

“A sister is a gift from God, sent from above to make life worthwhile here below.”

Day 33

Read Matthew 6:24

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."


1. Do you agree that no one can serve two masters?

2. What happens when we try?

3. Describe the difference between treasures on Earth and treasures in Heaven.

4. Pray specifically today for someone that challenges you to focus on God. Let them know how much they motivate you.

5. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Be in the Light

Psalm 119:9 - "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."



I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behaviour
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Saviour

I wanna be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

Honesty becomes me
[There's nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[In Your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[And riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[Has been sentenced to this Earth]
Has been sentenced to this Earth

Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

[There's no other place that I want to be]
[No other place that I can see]
[A place to be that's just right]
[Someday I'm gonna be in the Light]
[You are in the Light]
[That's where I need to be]
[That's right where I need to be]

Day 32

Got the devotions again! I'm picking up where I left off.

Read Matthew 6:16-18

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."


1. What is the purpose of fasting?

2. What have been the benefits of your fast?

3. What have been the challenges?

4. Are there situations in your life that it would be beneficial to fast before you made a decision?

5. Do you want to fast? Why or why not?

6. Why is it important to fast in secret?

7. Pray specifically for someone that comes to mind.

8. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Testify to Love

I'm addicted. This song has probably played more on my computer today than it ever has before. Earlier today, I was thinking about the story of the the "Thundering Legion" from the book of the Martyrs. Since then, all that's been running through my head is that God is not a God without a purpose. Which then got me thinking, is the path that I'm choosing the path of God or the path of me. And then this song played over my radio...and I realized that I've always known the path of God by the love he gives along the way. It's always about doing things God's way, not mine, but by golly....this song sums it up:


All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
Reaches out to find the love He gives

Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
Where words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace

Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart
Will see what love has done


For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
Where words are not enough
With every breath I take
We'll give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love


AWESOME FILL


For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
Where words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify..............

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
Where words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

I'm me again, except different. It's an odd way to start, but I suppose it makes sense if you actually get to know me. I've been quite thoughtful lately, I think I fear that I'll miss out on something important if I'm not.

Salem. That's where I am. I'm wiser, but not. More overwhelmed, but not. More confused, but not. I've made mistakes, but God taught me one thing when I joined His family...no mistake is permanent. Not until we realize that we ourselves are always making and have always made mistakes...can we really believe that. Pride has to take the backseat in my life, starting now, it's time for forgiveness to take the reigns, permanently.

They say that the past hardens your heart...well, they (whoever they are) are wrong. "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

My old fears, pains, worries, and heartaches have only made me realize how blessed I really am. Humor is something that I understand now, if used correctly it is a means of healing. And no hope or dream, laugh or love is too childish...too beneath me. You see, I'm the servant of a man who washed feet, who told me that the kingdom's wisdom is not the earth's. Who seeks earthly maturity? Those who want to fit in? Those who want to belong? Well I don't belong, never have :) My home, my heart is elsewhere. I no longer care, I think, if people don't understand me for who I am. Those who need me to be someone else haven't really ever come to care or know me for who I am at all, but I guess that's the way we are sometimes. After all, God always has taken me as I am and I'm finally learning to take myself and others as they are as well, faults and all. Maybe that's really all I ever needed anyway.

I could spend the rest of my life like this, if God willed it. I don't really want to, mind you, but at the same time it feels right. "The sun rises and falls on us all." To use another quote, if we must: "Play with the cards we're dealt." Then I might as well "bluff" my way through the hard parts, and remember that in Him...I've already won.

Faith - You have come. Love - You have come. Trust - Is coming. Pain - Is ever present, but always overcome. Patience - Is being taught. Pride - Is here, but humility is trying to arrive. Friends - Won't give up on us, and we on them. Acceptance - Judgmental attitudes are being replaced with actual people, people like me. Peace - Has been here, and shall stay in my heart. God - I love you and will follow you to the end. If you lead me into Hell itself, I'll follow. I've made my choice, thank you for not giving up on me when this world did.

Just thinking

So, I don't have today's devotion, my siblings lost my the devotional sheets. And while I wait a day or two for Matt to Email them to me...I'm going to not let it phase me.

I realized the other day just how much God has given me that I take for granted. A whole lot. I have an army of friends that have been keeping in contact with me all week :) They make me smile. Admittedly, sometimes I find the direction or choices that life makes me take different than the ones I would have chosen, but that just means following my heart. So tonight I want to thank those of you that have always been there for me, I know I take you for granted sometimes, but by golly let it not be said that I ever thought I deserved any of you, cause I don't. No really, I don't. :)

Let the Waters Rise

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You'll never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

Day 31

Read Matthew 6:5-13

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

This, then, is how you should pray:"
'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.'


1. What has been your purpose for prayer in the past?

2. What difference would it make if your purpose for praying was to know God and uncover his will?

3. What is one specific thing you will do to change and improve your communication with God?

4. Pray specifically that God would reveal his will in your present decisions.

5. What decisions have you made lately that weren't part of his will? Can you fix them?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 30

Read Matthew 6:3-4


"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."


1. Do you think you have a lot?

2. How much do you have in comparison to other nations?

3. Give yourself a grade on how well you give.

4. In what ways is giving a heart attitude, and in what ways is it a habit?

5. How can you become a cheerful giver?

6. Pray specifically for missions. Think of ways that giving spreads the gospel.

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 29

Read Matthew 5:43-48

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."


1. Are there people in your life that are difficult to love or accept?

2. Do you need to experience more of Christ's love and acceptance so that you can love and accept others for who they are? If not, what prevents you?

3. Is there anyone you know that needs to experience the love of Christ?

4. Pray specifically for someone that you haven't accepted as they are.

5. Ask God why that person is so hard to accept? Can you do something about it?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

A Call to Battle

I watched Braveheart tonight. I've been trying to let out a side of me that I've been keeping back in the shadows, the fighter. Most of my life I've been competitive and passionate in my decisions. Once I decided what to do, nothing else mattered. The problems with such a personality is though you aren't restrained in your choices, you can end up being in the wrong without ever realizing it. Perhaps even hurting others because of your firm nature and zeal.

I suppose that's part of the reason I let it go in the first place. But I realized, the other night, that I'm starting to let my lack of "fight" prevent me from keeping those I care about out of bad situations. Don't get me wrong, I believe firmly that it takes a stronger man not to fight - when he wants to...than it takes him to take it - when he wants to fight. I don't admire those who seek to fight just to prove a point. However, like William Wallace, I do want to fight when it comes down to doing what's right.

That changes now, and I know just where to start.

Satan, you have no power over anything in my life. Ever. God's already saved me and called me, do your worst...my weapons, life, and heart belong to my King. And my King protects his own.

Day 28

*Sigh* Yes God, I know, but I'm not happy about it. :p


Read Matthew 5:38-39

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.


1. What are some of the biggest hurts you have experienced in the past year or so?

2. How did you respond?

3. How would a deeper experience of forgiveness enable you to express forgiveness to that person?

4. Look at the results of not forgiving people. Have you seen this in your life?

5. Pray that God would allow you to see forgiveness in light of your own forgiveness through Christ.

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 27

This is something I've been thinking on a lot lately.


Read Matthew 5:36-37

"And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

1. What are some consequences when people are caught lying?

2. What are some consequences they experience even when they seem to get away with lying?

3. Are there any recurring situations in which you tend to exaggerate?

4. What do you hope exaggerating will do for you?

5. How does lying affect your Christian relationships?

6. How does it shape your words to realize that every word you speak is in the presence of God?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Why do we believe?

Dear miss Jacy, this one's for you:

A promise is a promise. Sorry that it's long, but it should be what you were looking for. :)


You asked me how we can know that our religion is right and that we're not one of the wrong religions like we claim others are. I think that's an incredible question. Don't stop thinking like that, God never expected us to take everything for granted. Though once He's earned your trust, He does expect you to go without hesitation and do what you feel lead to do.

I became a Christian a little over 6 years ago. And let me tell you, there was nothing that I didn't research and look into...while trying to discover truth.

The proof will ultimately be in your own heart. We can be shown all the proof in the world to believe in something, but if we don't step out on faith...we've missed the point.

Having said that, I'm completely cool with giving you something solid to think on :)


First, if we want to believe in the Bible, we have to find facts outside of the Bible to defend it. After all, If I'm not a Christian then verses like: 2 Timothy 3:16 - "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness..." aren't going to work. That's like me saying that I'm not a liar. Well yes, I've said it, but I'm the one defending myself...not someone else.

So now we can't trust anything ONLY in the Bible until we prove we can. That creates a big problem, since the Bible is the book that tells us that Jesus is our savior. You won't find that in any "scriptures" or texts from that day and age.

So...now what? Do we even have proof that Jesus existed outside of the Bible? The answer is a definite yes.


First, there was a Roman named Tacitus, who is considered one of the more accurate historians of the ancient world. He mentioned superstitious “Christians” (from Christus, which is Latin for Christ), who suffered under Pontius Pilate during the reign of Tiberius. Suetonius, chief secretary to Emperor Hadrian, wrote that there was a man named Chrestus (or Christ) who lived during the first century. He wrote this in a book titled "Annals". I skimmed at the time, and haven't read it since, it's quite boring :)

And perhaps more convincingly is a page long documentation recorded by Flavius Josephus, the most famous Jewish historian. In his book "Antiquities" he refers to James, “the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ. While yet another verse says something like, "At this time there was a wise man named Jesus. His conduct was good and he was known to be virtuous. And many people from among the Jews and the other nations became his disciples. Pilate condemned him to be crucified and to die. But those who became his disciples did not abandon his discipleship. They reported that he had appeared to them three days after his crucifixion, and that he was alive; accordingly he was perhaps the Messiah, concerning whom the prophets have recounted wonders.”

What I just shared with you was not the page of documentation I mentioned. The page was spent talking about a trial for a man named John (The apostle). It's not a very long story. But in Antiquities
we find out what happened at the trial.

Picture this:

You're in Rome in 95 A.D. That's a long time ago! John is now almost 90 years old. And he's the last of the apostles left alive. I'll get there in a minute. He is brought before the Emperor Domitian, who had a reputation for cruelty with Christians. In this page, Josephus mentions that the Emperor labels John a heretic. Explaining that if he's willing to admit to his lies that he won't be killed. John refuses to denounce Jesus as his Lord and Savior. He is brought into a huge coliseum and sentenced to be boiled in oil. The crowd is excited. After all, they love watching as Christians are brought out and fed to the lions and burned at the stake or on the metal chair. It amuses them. John is cuffed at his hands and feet, and slowlylowered into oil until he is kneeling. Now at this point I imagine the crowd going deathly silent...after all they want to hear his screams and shrieks as he dies. In the heat, his manacles will soften and he'll boil to death, while they watch and cheer. Or so they think. To everyone's surprise, (including Josephus') not only does John not burn but he's saying something. At first it's just a whisper and it grows until the entire coliseum can hear. He's praising his God. There were probably thousands of people coming to believe in Christ upon witnessing John's salvation from the boiling oil. Josephus records that Domitian was furious and wanted John killed, but knew that John's sentence had already been carried out. So instead, the Emperor assigned the last of the Apostles to hard labor on the Island of Patmos. Do realize that a Jewish Historian, who worked for the Romans, who didn't believe in Jesus, recorded that John survived boiling oil in his book? Admittedly, he used "witch-craft" as the explanation...just like the Emperor did. But it's saved in History. And we know the truth.

Now I realize this is long. But it's just getting good.

Think with me. If we KNOW that the twelve apostles existed, then we know something else too. They were either telling the truth about everything, hallucinating, or liars. Right? If there are any other options...I'm not seeing them.

So if we can prove which they are...we can prove whether or not the Bible should be believed. Tracking with me?

I'm going to point out right now that 12 different people, even if they are on "drugs" aren't going to have the SAME hallucination. But odds are that they wouldn't be on "drugs" in the first place. Hallucination is no longer a choice. Two left.



We know that each of the 12 apostles left their families and jobs to follow Jesus. We also know that they were only together for 3 years before he died. So, once He died...did they lie or did they really see him?

Every single one of the 12 apostles traveled alone to distant countries, declaring that Jesus died and came back to life. For proclaiming Jesus' resurrection, they were beaten, imprisoned, and many killed in torturous ways.

Do you know how they died? The Bible only mentions one dying. But the people who killed them didn't leave it as a secret.

1. Andrew was crucified
2. Bartholomew was beaten then crucified
3. James was stoned to death
4. James, son of Zebedee was beheaded
5. John was exiled for his faith and died of old age
6. Judas (not Iscariot) was stoned to death
7. Matthew was speared to death
8. Peter was crucifed upside down
9. Philip was crucified
10. Simon was crucified
11. Thomas was speared to death
12. Matthias was stoned to death


So here is my ending. EVEN today, if you managed to get 12 people from 12 different backgrounds to follow around a teacher for 3 years. First, do you think they would ALL be willing to make up a lie about seeing him raise from the dead? ASSUMING that they would we move to step two. Second, once they started telling the lie, wouldn't one of them break under torture and death? Honestly, don't you think most people would be willing to even lie to not be tortured...so if it was truth...shouldn't a few have denied it...just to stay alive? If not, it must be REALLY IMPORTANT to them. Would you die for a lie? Would you die for the truth? All 12 were CERTAIN. That's the only explanation.

Thirdly, John didn't even have to worry about the other apostles calling him a liar. When he was about to be burned alive, he could have said he was a liar (even if he wasn't), who was going to argue with him? They were all dead by then. But he didn't. Lying is no longer a choice. One left.

There IS something bigger than death, than life, than us, than you, than me, than religion, that everything. There is something that saves us from our "boiling oils" in life. That's the God that I fell in love with over 6 years ago kiddo. You can trust Him completely. Trust me. But more importantly, trust Him :)

Day 26

Before I share the devotion for the day. I want to share my Daniel's translation of verse that is my shield in this topic. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. My version:

Flee from sexual immorality. For you are not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.


This is something to remember in life. We aren't our own, we don't have permission to seek, desire, or do that which God says we can't.

Read Matthew 5:28-29

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."


1. Think back over the last 24 hours. What sexually suggestive messages have you been exposed to (including songs, commercials, ads, movies, magazines, conversations, web sites, etc.)

2. Why do you think Jesus equated lust with the sin of adultery?

3. What does it mean to "pluck out" a lustful eye or "cut off" a lustful hand? (Hint: This is not a call to physically hurt yourself ;)

4. What are some ways you can flee sexual immorality?

5. What does it mean to be pure?

6. Pray specifically today that God would strengthen you as you fast.

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 25

Read Matthew 5:23-24

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."


1. What are some excuses people use for not being reconciled to people they have wronged?

2. What are some excuses you have used?

3. Why is it important to go to someone that you haven't been reconciled with?

4. Is there something you have done to hurt someone?

5. Are you avoiding it? Or are you dealing with it?

6. Are you following your own will, or God's? Do you know the difference?

7. Why is it so hard to be the one that reconciles a relationship?

8. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 24

Read Matthew 22:35-40

One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."


1. What are some characteristics of people who love God?

2. Why is the second commandment to love others like the first one?

3. Is the Lord beautiful to you?

4. Is your view of God more like a cop, a judge, a waiter, a grandfather. or something else?

5. How has that concept shaped your relationship with God?

6. Write your prayer to God: Lord, I love you because....

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 23

Read John 8:1-8

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.


1. Describe the situation of the woman brought to Jesus in the passage.

2. What do you think she may have been thinking and feeling at the beginning...at the end?

3. When have you felt the grace of God most strongly and clearly?

4. What do you typically believe about God's grace on your worst days?

5. How can a deeper grasp of the grace of God give you:
a. Hope and assurance?
b. Gratitude?
c. Clearer Motives?

6. Complete this prayer: Lord Jesus, I want to experience your grace much more because....

7. Pray specifically about a situation that God lays on your heart in this moment.

8. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 22

It's incredible how every verse is sent to us in the way that we need it or can apply it to our personal lives! Today's devotion catches me a couple of days past the halfway point, and God hasn't disappointed. Even on the roughest of days...God has shown Himself in my life. For example, today I was encouraged by multiple acquaintances randomly :) I realized then how much being a doer of the word can impact our world. My world. My plans for tonight? Ridgecrest, Stars, Barnes and Noble, laughing, living, loving. Maybe not in that order... Meanwhile, I hope the devotion is for you as well :D


Read James 1:22-25

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.


1. What are some characteristics of people who are hearers but don't apply much of God's word?

2. What are some characteristics of people who are doers of the word?

3. Is it harder to apply God's truth than it is to observe and interpret it?

4. Are there areas in your life that you know what God wants you to do but you avoid obeying Him?

5. How does applying truth bring:

a. Strength?
b. Happiness?
c. More Truth?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

:)

Wow, I don't know what got a hold of me last night when I was blogging, but it's not sticking around ;) We are who we choose to be in Christ. I guess I needed to be reminded why I chose the road. I had Ms. Sharon (one of the staff here at Sunnybrook) walk in to my office today, she gave me a hug and told me that I wasn't myself...because I wasn't as bubbly or confidant as normal. I smiled and apologized. She told me that it was fine, but to remember that sometimes that's what got her through the day. Wow. That's what I needed to remind me alright...

God gave me this life, this personality, and this heart, and I am so glad that it's mine! Jesus, I love you.

Overload

Vent time. Doesn't happen often on my blog, so don't get used to it. KHADFGKJLHASKLJGHASKJGBHASJKGBSKJFH'LASKBGJ;hadgskhaklhgklhaoghHKJGAH;AHGKJhkl;hlhagajhkjhgjkfhjkldhflghdkjlfghkjdfghkjladfhgkldfghkjadgklnkjgabjghiufbkjanhkghkjghakjlghkjdsfhgkjhfgkjlshkgjlhdsjklghsjlk. *sigh*

Okay. So, I'll be honest guys, I'm near the breaking moment. Too many thoughts, responsibilities and weights on my shoulders. Why can't Satan take a holiday or ten?

I guess I'm just afraid of what comes next. My dad tried to talk me into staying in Mississippi today...I want to say yes...but I'm frustrated that my head and heart don't agree with each other. I'm tired. I'm confused. I'm feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. I'm being pelted at the time in my life that is least convenient (how clever Satan is) So I guess what I really asking for is prayer, please. It's been working, it does work. And I need it.

I remember falling in love with the idea of heroes, honor, laughter, and light as a kid playing dress up. That hasn't changed, and God willing, it never will. That's why I care so much about the things that many people consider childish, confusing and sometimes "impossible". Well you know what world? It's kind of fun to do the impossible, so hold tight. The problem? So few of the people in this world are willing to believe in goodness, light, love, dreams, beauty...or if they do, only in the broad sense. Why have so many forgotten that it's the children that will see the Kingdom of God? Don't we believe anymore? Isn't "happily ever after" the mentality we should have? Is it so easy to see the world in a negative light? Why am I starting to see it that way? I won't, can't, and shan't be anything other than what I am called to be. I'm a man seeking God's heart, a child believing in a dream, a wanderer not sure where to start, a sinner that's been redeemed. I need to pray, and I need prayer. I guess I just need to make sense of all the whys. God can do it, I can let Him. Thanks for always being there for me my friends. I'll do the same, I'm not out of this battle...I just need a breather. I'm a soldier whose gun is out of ammo, and who feels shell-shocked. But the best physician in the world is coming to patch me up. Keep fighting my friends, darkness won't take a day off...we can't afford to either....



Speaking of prayer and Jesus. *Side note for a friend* This one's for you JM - Romans 6:12-23, it covers the thing that the group you mentioned is doing and needs to be confronted about. I know it's hard, but God put you there for a reason (And you're strong enough in Him to do it right) And don't forget that it just takes a single light in the darkness to shine. Be the light! (I've got your back my friend)

Day 21

Read Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1. What does in mean to be a living sacrifice?

2. Can living day-to-day really be worship?

3. Is God being worshiped by your daily life?

4. In what ways have you conformed to this world?

5. How can you renew your mind?

6. How important is it to find God's will?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Satisfied Saturdays

Here's to a day with good friends, board games, long walks, karaoke, and favorite movies :D

Day 20

Wow! I've hit the half way point, and haven't lost my sanity!!! Ok, well, I suppose that's open to debate. However, I'm a man on a mission. I started a call to die to self, but it WON'T end after 40 days. It's my prayer that it last much longer than that!

Read 2 Peter 1:3-11

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.


1. What are the choices new Christians often face about their lifestyle?

2. What are the choices more mature Christians face?

3. Are you growing, or are you stuck because you are blind or nearsighted?

4. Do you have the qualities listed in the passage?

5. Are you missing some of these qualities?

6. What can you do to obtain them?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Day 19

Read Acts 8:9-25

This story still blows my mind :)

Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, "This man is the divine power known as the Great Power." They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic. But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that Samaria had accepted the word of God, they sent Peter and John to them. When they arrived, they prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them; they had simply been baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.

When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles' hands, he offered them money and said, "Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit."

Peter answered: "May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin."

Then Simon answered, "Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me."

When they had testified and proclaimed the word of the Lord, Peter and John returned to Jerusalem, preaching the gospel in many Samaritan villages.

1. What are some ways we use God to get what we want instead of loving and serving Him?

2. Do you ever pray self focused prayers?

3. Have you ever been used by someone to get something?

4. How do you think God feels when we use Him for our desires instead of love Him and seek His desires?

5. Journal any thoughts you may have.

God is Good

God is good. Regardless of anything else in life, that statement will stand, always.

Today was different, and should have been bad...it tried anyways. This morning, I had a tire go out on the way to work, so in the middle of a small intersection I had to get out and replace it. It helped that my co-workers were supportive and not phased by my late arrival. The first few hours at work, before lunch, were filled nonsense that isn't worth going into. I figured that I was going to lose my cool if If I didn't get myself an intervention. I met with my other boss, Matt, and asked him to join me for lunch. He realized pretty quickly that I was wearing out...but between his prayers and his goofy attitude and laughter I came back to work strong. The rest of the afternoon was great at work, I took over for the secretary at the front desk. I suppose this could have been a bad thing...but I chose to make it meaningful and fun. It helped.

I got off work at about 4:30 and started for home, glad to be done for the day (regardless of optimism). I had some time to reflect and spend in peace, but as I got out of my car, my favorite Bible fell...into a puddle. *sigh* Sometimes it rains and pours. I salvaged what I could, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to move on from that one. I lay in bed for about 15 mins and prayed, not really feeling in the mood...but knowing I was being unfair to God (it wasn't His fault). Afterwards, I headed to school. I figured that I could just ignore it all and put on a smile. It wouldn't have worked as well as I hoped, except that a close friend ran into me and made me smile, he's a dork, but a good one. I then apologized to God for staying in the mood as long as I had, but deep down I still felt like I was about to break...just putting on the face in the hopes that it becomes the truth.

I spent the rest of the night like that, not understanding why I couldn't just laugh or smile, but knowing that's what I needed. God knows what I needed though...worship touched my heart in a way I wasn't expecting. Especially when we sang "It is Well" and "Blessed be your Name"! I'm still working on my paper, but my friend Sam came to find me and gave me a Twix bar...explaining that it was "a good break". Sam = Awesome. I'm tired, drained, ready for bed, BUT I'm realizing that no matter what, God's peace is enough. Sometimes I just need to laugh and smile at the ridiculousness inside of me to remind myself that God is good. GOD IS GOOD!!! Amen.

Day 18

Read Luke 7:36-50

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."


1. Describe the woman. What did she do? Why did she do it?

2. Describe Simon. What was his response to the woman? Why?

3. What does this passage say about gratitude and indifference?

4. Who are you more like, the woman or Simon?

5. How should this story affect our attitude toward forgiveness?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

I Know the Heart Inside this Man

May I always learn to be a better friend, a truer heart, and a wiser soul. Through trials and blessings, through mistakes and forgiveness might I learn. May God put me through His redeeming fire as many times as it takes to get things right. I'm not the white knight I wanted to be growing up, nor the superhero saving the world, in fact I'm just a guy that doesn't know what he's doing or how to do it right. However, I'm learning that I'm okay with who I am...as long as this body possesses breath may all my virtue come from and go back to the one that sustains me.




I heard someone say the other day
They'd seen in me true love displayed
Blessed by something I had done for them
No sooner had they said these words
I found myself somehow disturbed
Uneasy as I took their compliment
Cause I know the heart inside this man
I know the truth of who I am...

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come

In a thousand years
When the dust of this world clears
And I look back on my life
And see in perfect light

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I know me well enough to know
No matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

Day 17

Read Matthew 26:36-46

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"



1. Describe the emotions and thoughts Jesus may have had as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane.

2. What are some things God has told you to do that you didn't want to do?

3. How did you respond in each case? What were the results?

4. When you are faced with critical choices to obey God, what are your most common excuses?

5. What are some things in your life God may be asking you to sacrifice to Him?

6. Journal any thoughts you may have.

Teacher Arrested

A math teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International
Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides
to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.



Hopefully you are leaving more positive than you came :) That was the goal anyways. Plus the fact that I didn't want to solve any problems...just trying to subtract from the blah that can sometime equal the amount of joy in our lives. What's my formula to happiness you ask? Jesus + family + friends + contentment = :)

Day 16

Read James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


1. Is it difficult for you to be joyful in difficult times?

2. Is perseverance important in Christianity? Why?

3. What does mature and complete mean?

4. Has God ever helped you through a difficult time? How?

5. Has God ever used you to help someone through a difficult time?

6. Do you find it easier or harder to find God in the midst of a difficult time?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.

God's Love Letter

I found this a few minutes ago. I don't remember where I copied it down from, nor does it matter. The date was exactly three years ago. Wow. This is my lover, my God, my everything. These are the words that speak to our hearts. This is truth, in it's "truest" form. If God can't guide us, then why believe in Him? If God can guide us, then why can't we pass him the reigns? Let it all go my friends. Let love in....



My Love,

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone... to have a deep soul relationship with another...to be loved thoroughly and exclusively...

But I say to you my child, no..not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone-with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me-with having an intensely personal relationship with Me alone-discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found-will you be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusively of anyone or anything else, exclusively of any other desires or longings...I want you to stop wishing, planning, debating, and just allow Me to bring it to you..

You just keep watching Me, expect the greatest things and keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait...That's all...

Don't be anxious, Don't worry. Don't control. Don't let doubts keep you from My spirit's leadings. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or what I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. And yet, don't be so afraid to follow your heart, as long as you're letting Me guide it. If I put a desire in your heart, just ask...I put it there for a reason. Don't question, just trust. Keep looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would dream of.

You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready...( I'm working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and thus...the dearest love...

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me. And enjoy maturely and concretely the everlasting beauty, perfection and love.

Know that I love you completely."

God

Day 15

Read 1 Corinthians 15:30-31

And as for us, why do we endanger ourselves every hour? I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord.


1. What are some reasons we suffer for following Christ?

2. In what ways do we suffer when we don't follow Christ?

3. How do most Christians respond to suffering?

4. How has our entertainment driven culture affected your view of suffering?

5. What are some ways you have suffered for your faith in the past several weeks or months? How did you respond?

6. Read Hebrews 11. What does this chapter say about these Christians?

7. Journal any thoughts you may have.