"Seal it for Thy courts above"

I've discovered that God has the habit of changing my perspectives more that I can even begin to explain. I used to subconsciously believe that it took drastic changes in life to change a person...I now believe that though that can be true, it is my more likely to be through choices made.

I'm feeling a change in my heart again, a good one. I've struggled with so many faults, vices, and demons. That's something that won't ever change, until I'm finally home again. However, my perspective on life is different now. A large part of that change comes from seeing God at work in lives of so many people that I care about. He's so active in people, how can we not sense His spirit?

It's no longer, "Why do bad, sad, and frustrating things happen in to me, God?" Instead, it's, "Why do You give me life, forgiveness, and love...thank you for these gifts! And if You take anything or everything from me...wasn't it Yours in the first place, Father?"

I don't think I've ever really known what it's like to fall in love before, I've always kept my innermost feelings and hopes to myself...due to fears.

But it's happened, I'm alive in Him. I think about Him daily, constantly.

Sometimes that makes me feel ashamed, for it's when I think about my lover that I realize how often I don't. When I think about Him, I see all the sins I'm still committing. When I think about Him, I wish desperately that I could hear His physical voice...feel His physical touch. But then I feel peace, just peace. As if He's saying:

Beloved, you are mine, I love you. Will trust me?

With all of my heart Lord, and with the parts that don't...help me give those up to you also.

I've learned the secret to falling in love. You have to desire that the one you love will get what they want or need above what you want or need. That's why it's so hard for us to truly and fully fall in love with God, because we know that what He wants and needs is not what we want or need.

But here's the beautiful part.

It's so much more than anything we can desire or seek. It's life with our heart's deepest desire and longing, Jesus Christ.