He'll be there for you, no matter what....

"Now Woody, he's been my pal for as long as I can remember. He's brave, like a cowboy should be. And kind, and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special, is he'll never give up on you... ever. He'll be there for you, no matter what."

I went to see Toy Story 3 with my sisters last night. Wow! For me, it was a reminder of the child that I was and the man I hope to be....

I've realized just how many of the beliefs, values, hopes, and dreams have stuck with me...all these years later.



There is so much beauty in the life and actions of a child. Christ knew this. So should we.

On another note, I'm meeting up with my old history professor, Mr. Switzer, from Holmes Community College Friday morning. The reason and topic? Jesus. He doesn't believe in Christ, and chose to bring it up on my facebook wall awhile back, since then he decided that he wants to talk to me about who Christ is. It wasn't until he answered the phone, and then called me "Dan" and "friend", that I realized that there was foundation for this "meeting". He also asked me not to call him Sir or Mr. but instead to call him John. I suppose this comes with the "growing up" process...I'm not quite sure I'm ready for this talk, but I know who's with me. *starts singing* "And if our God is for us...than who could ever stop us!?!?" :)

Speaking of Jesus, He's been the one that the quote at the top actually fits, in my life anyway (Cowboy and all!).



Satan is fighting hard on the battle field. The demons just keep coming. It seems all the strength and passion is difficult to summon....

Regardless, you need only know one thing:

"I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great savior."

Feel His power flowing through you as you take in your next breath. Feel His promises as you say His name aloud. Remember the passions aroused in your heart when you first fell in love with Him.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:33


P.S. The mission trip to the Dominican Republic is only 3 days away!!!

My Weakness - Communication aka Justification

I'm tired. And slightly depressed. The depression just kicked in, which means that it's a passing thing...I just need to get my thoughts down on blog. Not the best start to a blog post, but it's when I'm like this that I tend to be more open. Anyways,




I realized today just how much of a difference communication truly makes in each of my friendships.

Normally I wouldn't think too deeply into how I communicate with each of my friends, but after having one of my good friends explain some difficult and personal things that were on her mind today...I realized just how much it meant to me that she did that. But even more so, I realized how afraid I normally am to be honest with my friends about their actions....

I'm downright cowardly when it comes to telling someone that they bothered me, or asking if I bothered them. Instead, I just convince myself that it's in my head...because I don't want to deal with the consequences. I feel like the cowardly lion sometimes.

There are exceptions.


Collier, can I use you as an example? *makes phone call to confirm* Thanks good sir!!!


Andrew Collier is a great example of this in my life.



At some point, over the years, I let my guard down around Andrew. I think I started to let him in because I knew he cared about me as a person. But it wasn't long after we became friends that he would do things that bugged me, multiple things. And vice-versa. I would do things that bugged him, multiple things....

I can't remember, in the beginning of our friendship, if I chose not to tell him when he frustrated me or not...but I surely tell him now. Sometimes he's in the wrong, sometimes I am...regardless I've learned that I sleep easier at night and feel better if I just tell him that something was bothering me. And no matter how trivial or important...because we're brothers in Christ we always come back to our focal points. I think I can speak for him and say that he feels the same way.

He's not the only friend I can do this with, in fact, lately I've tried to be this way with almost all of my friends. It's just that he's a great example of a friend that challenges me, irritates me, encourages me, helps me to grow farther in my walk with Christ, and in the end I wouldn't trade for the world. Why? Because we can say what we mean without bottling it up, it's not a one-sided friendship or stream of communication, AND we still have each others backs when it's all said and done. Andrew, thank you for trusting me enough to let me take what you can dish. And for letting me do the same to you ;)

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." ~Philippians 1:3


I have a handful of friends that are similar, some of you are the ones reading this post, the ones that I can just be myself around, knowing that if I do something that you don't like that let me know. Others, maybe not, but I hope that's a time thing, not a "me" thing. But in general, I don't treat people the way I treat Andrew, I just bottle the little things and never mention how they affect me. I don't think this is always wrong, but I feel that it causes me to treat too many of my friends distantly...due to quirks or actions that I haven't told them get to me.

And now we come to those who I can't tell that I'm frustrated with their actions:

Those that would rather drop a friendship than face a challenge.

If you're reading this blog, the you're NOT that type of personality (in my eyes anyway...trust me I looked over the list of you ;) ...because you cared enough to get this far down ;)


But over the years, it seems the people that I'm not brave or stupid enough to be honest with are always the ones that it, "well it wouldn't matter if I did." Because, in their eyes, I'm not a friendship that worth the negatives....

And honestly, who wants to try to be friends with someone that can't take you at face-value who chooses to see everything you do as a negative? If all of my actions, even ones meant to encourage or ask for another hangout session, are met with disdain, frustration, or irritation...I can only change if I'm given the chance and trusted with that annoyance.


Anyways...sorry for the tangent...the person that comes to my mind is in another state now...but it sometimes, like today, I still reminisce.


My dad asked me, a couple of hours ago, about an old friend of mind that I used to spend time with. This was actually the driving thought of this post and the reason I decided to blog.

I haven't spoken to him in years. Which my dad thought was odd, especially since we were best friends for 2 years. He said, "I thought you try to maintain your friendships..."

I stated earlier that I try to tell almost everyone in my life if/when they did/do something that I wish they hadn't (at least the people that care about me).

But I've realized that sometimes I have friends that can't/won't take me for who I am. Whatever the reason...I come across wrong, God-willing it was a mistake. But regardless, it doesn't matter whether I try to show that I care or that I'm willing to make the effort/apology on my end. In the end, a friendship is always a two-way street. And as time goes on, these type of "friendships" are solely dependent on a particular need or perhaps a courtesy call and nothing more.

That's what my friend and I became. This was a good ten years ago, btw. I would try to keep in contact, but he didn't. I learned later that it was because I was always asking to come to his house, but never offered my house.....

Finally, one day, he had had enough and only responded to me if I had a direct question or if he wanted to borrow something. Don't get me wrong, he didn't hate me, he just saw me the way he wanted to see me...something I think we can all be guilty of if we're not careful.


He wasn't wrong. But he wasn't right either...he only saw what he wanted to see in me. Perhaps I did the same to him too. It's so easy for us to decide what someone is "worth" to us...and whether they are worth it. I'm glad God doesn't treat me the way I treat others.

Oops..back on topic:

I started to realize that things were off, but not wanting to upset him, I chose to "assume" that he would tell me that I came across a certain way...he did. 4 years later. When I asked him in passing...during a random meeting at a deli...he told me how he'd felt at the time.

The worst part?

The reason I never invited him over was because I was embarrassed by how little we had to do at my house...and I didn't want him to think we were boring. But because we never communicated our frustrations and thoughts, boredom was no longer a primary concern. Our friendship had paid the price of our stubbornness and need to feel justified in our emotions. Pride. My biggest weakness. And the cause of so many other mistakes I make.


To this day, I wish I had asked him if I had done something wrong. To this day, I wish he had told me each and every time and thing that I did to frustrate him.

It may not have made a difference. I know I can care for someone I see as a friend and still not have them care enough to maintain it. Not out of meanness, simply because they already have what they're looking for in a different set of friends and family. However, if I lose a friend because they don't like me...so be it.

But I no longer want to lose a friend that cares about me...simply because I bottled up something that they did to irritate me. I suppose this means I need to be even more transparent....... *sigh* It seems that every time God teaches me something, it means getting even MORE uncomfortable.... Yet, just like a blacksmith uses fire to refine. I'm seeing how many of my friendships have been refined through the bad and good times! If fire is what it takes...."Burn us up oh King! Won't you burn us up?"

So, I'll try to be better about the frustrations that I have, in love, not anger. And if I fail, hold me accountable, please.

God is God. And His will shall be done. And as Sam Chambers wished me a Happy Father's day a few minutes ago, I shall do the same for each of you! Happy Father's day! May we live it trusting, accepting, understanding and loving each other.

We have one life to live, and much to tolerate and forgive.

Yes I rhymed, I like words that are well-timed. :)

Embracing Accusation

One Word: Truth

Little gods, distraction and lies.

"Little gods. We all have them, whether we sought them out intentionally or over time drifted towards them. We each have a tendency to make something or someone, other than God, the center of our lives. We do it through the decisions we make each day - what we talk about, what gets most of our time, what consumes our thoughts. We look for something or someone to be something for us that it was never meant to fully be or do."

Satan has learned the tricks to keeping us effective. He knows that we won't fall for the more direct assaults, so he stays subtle. He knows he just has to distract or prevent us with the little things.

You love God, but you don't have to be "weird" about it.

It's not wrong to spend as much time as you have on these things, at least they're not "bad" things.

It's been a long time sense you've actually done any good for God.

You keep messing these things up, just don't bother trying.

Nobody misses you, nobody thinks about you, have you been reminded today...?

Prayer doesn't have the power you wish it did, don't bother.

God will forgive you, so you don't worry about it...you'll mess up anyway, just keep doing it.

It's too late to start over.

It's too hard to follow through with it.

You won't succeed.

You aren't good enough, leave it for someone that is....




But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.

After all, is God the God of the Jews only? Isn’t he also the God of the Gentiles? Of course he is. There is only one God, and he makes people right with himself only by faith, whether they are Jews or Gentiles. Well then, if we emphasize faith, does this mean that we can forget about the law? Of course not! In fact, only when we have faith do we truly fulfill the law. Romans 3:21-31


The truth is that you are ready. Today is the day. Prayers will change this world. Faith will move mountains. Hearts can be revived and be reminded of a passion long forgotten. If Satan has kept us in the dark, it's time for us to open our eyes to the light that's been right in front of us the entire time.



"Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work."

If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me."

Don't lose heart! We are God's children and forgiven! It's time to live like it!

No Matter the Cost - I Will Follow the Call

Warning: The content you are about to read is something that may take at least 5 minutes to sift through!




Wow. God never ceases to well...amaze! I guess that's what He's good at ;) So here comes the thoughts of a mind that is overflowing with...well...thoughts and stuff!

I've been struggling lately with certain areas of my walk with Him, specifically giving Him the time each day. Once I do give Him time I realize how much I needed and how much I love and desire Him...but between myself and Satan...I manage to forget how much I want that time until I cave to God's Spirit asking for my time.

All that said, I have a huge accountability base! My Middle Schoolers! It's funny, most people assume it's our pastors, teachers, leaders, parents, and dearest friends and loved ones that would typically make-up our spiritual accountability. And though almost all of those qualify for me as well...in the end...it's the Middle Schoolers.

You see, sometimes it's the people that we're trying to help that are actually the ones helping us. I love the song I Want to be Just Like You by Phillips, Craig and Dean! I'm not a father, but I love each and every one of these kids as though they were. And I've realized, though I'm willing to let myself down in life (though I shouldn't), I'm not willing to be fake around them. I can fool myself...but I can't...won't fool, trick, lie to, or hurt any of them. It's my job, my mission, my passion and my gift to be who and where I am in each of their lives, and so I have to be honest and genuine, forgiving and forgiven, loved and loving...so that they can see truth lived out in me.

So in reality, by "trying" to "help" those that I feel need to see something lived out. I actually begin to live the way that I'm called to...because I don't want to let them down. So in reality, God uses them to hold me "up" :D

Wow.

Speaking of not being a father...my boss and friend, Matt, is an amazing man, husband, and father! After canoeing all day with the Youth Group, we took an hour break and met back up at the church for Sunday morning setup. He brought Thomas Hewitt, his two year old son.

A couple of things about Thomas Hewitt:

He's a talker, even I can't hold a candle to him. Second, he can run in circles for hours and not grow weary! And finally, like many children, and adults, he's incredibly curious!


Moving forward.

Matt and I had a productive work night, and some amazing time with his son. Needless to say, Thomas wanted to be involved in EVERYTHING! Matt joked about how protective I am...lstm, he's right. It's in my blood to jump towards something that I think could hurt someone...to the point that I should probably "chillax" ;)

But it was a blessing and Thomas likes saying my name, asking me questions, is willing to let me hold him, AND asked me to kiss a hurt nose!!! awwwww! That's my sentimental side coming out. *Manly cough and voice* I mean...aw. ;P


Anyways, so Matt made a comment to me, yesterday, that got me thinking. He was talking about how much he loved Emily and the boys, and then decided to share some words of wisdom that were on his heart.

He told me that though he would NEVER trade his life with Emily and the boys, that he realizes how much he can and did do...and how much others can do for God, especially during the season (however long it may be) that you aren't married. As he put it, "though I'm productive, my primary responsibility is now divided...and rightly so, between my missions and ministry calling and my calling to my family. However, I feel that those who are single should ALWAYS be the more productive in life! What I guess I'm saying is I understand why Paul believed it was better to live the lifestyle that he did...it was because he knew that he had too much to do to commit any more time to another aspect of life that can be had."

I probably wouldn't have given that as much thought as I did if I hadn't already been thinking on God's callings in my life. For starters, I truly don't know, I will go wherever God sends me in regards to a life of singleness or a life shared with the woman that God may have for me.

However, cautiously stated, I'm starting to believe that it may be that God has chosen for me to follow in Paul's footsteps in regards to singleness. Not because I don't desire to be in an amazing relationship...but because I know that I'm capable of being content with that aspect of my life. The romantic at heart in me finds enough true joy and contentment in God's love for me and mine for him that I could/can live that lifestyle and choice to the fullest...if that's what God asked of me. I could and would see singleness as a blessing just as much as I as I see marriage as a blessing! There is beauty in a single life like Mother Teresa's or Jesus'. Just as there is beauty in a married life like Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, my parents, or even my soon to be married friends :D

Random? Not really. In the past, thoughts like this came from a hurt or broken heart, not from prayer and leadings. And as I said, I honestly don't know what God's will is...as far as my singleness and the future goes. But it seems God keeps bringing this topic up around me...without me seeking it out. So, a short time ago, I asked Him NOT to ask me to live a life of singleness. Lstm, I kept going by explaining to Him that in my defense I would do a better job than enough of the husbands and fathers out there that it would be worth it! :) Lol, then I realized what I had done. I had something in my life that I didn't want to give to Him....

It was time for me to see the blessing, the gift, and the chance of where I am currently. Just as those that aren't single have a chance to see the blessing, gift, and chance that they have where they are as well! Regardless, It was time for me to let go of what I couldn't give up.

And now I have. That's the real reason that it became a thought process...and finally a decision to live to the fullest in either route. That and that just like Paul, if I maintained the things I feel called to, if I follow God's current leadings, I would make a horrible boyfriend, fiance or husband...not for lack of caring or heart...but for lack of well...me.

Another barrier comes crashing down. I'm willing and ready now. For whatever God wants to do next. If it hurts, then it's for a purpose. If it's gentle then it's for a purpose. If it makes sense or completely goes against all logic...it's still for a purpose. There's not much left that He hasn't torn down and started to rebuild, and I pray that don't ever forget where my strength comes from! Prayer groups are in full session! My God, my family, my friends, my "kids" for lack of a better term, are my reason! "And I will live to carry His compassion..."




He paid the Price. Now we live in Christ.

What Faith Can Do

Peter

"But Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.

At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly." ~Luke 22:60-62

This passage has been on my heart for the last few days. The part about Peter leaving to go weep bitterly. This was the man who always managed to be headstrong. This is the man that swore that even if ALL others fell away...he wouldn't! But then he did.

But instead of being rejected and destroyed, instead of realizing that he couldn't live up to what he thought he could be...he broke down and perhaps for the first time...became dependent.

This was the man that chopped off ears, tried to walk on water without staying focused on his Lord. Then he becomes the man that writes both 1 and 2 Peter, where he speaks on humility, love, and patience. This is a man who makes a 180 in a very short amount of time. What did it take? It took him breaking.

I've realized that in my life, just like in all of our lives...God creates from nothing.

God created something from nothing, after all He's a creator God.

Now it takes us becoming "nothing" for God to make "something".

Peter learned that lesson, and let perhaps the worst moment of his life...change him into a man that God could truly use! I love Jesus.