Beauty - A Heart at Rest

A few weeks back I wrote out a challenge to men, including myself. Reminding us who God has called us to be. Reminding us who we truly are, and how we are to treat each other...but equally if not more so...how we are to treat His daughters.

It's to God's daughters, my sisters, I now write.

Over the last few days I've had more than one of my dear sisters express their feelings of their beauty and self-worth. It's weighed on my heart, and God has taught me to trust such weight. I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in God.

Therefore, after prayer, rereading of parts of the book Captivating, a careful look through scripture, and a search through quotes and papers. I've decided to take on the daunting challenge of challenging those that can confuse me the most...women ;)

Here's my promise to you. This won't be short, but it will be to the point. I won't lie to you, and I'll tell you up front that I don't necessarily know what I'm talking about in matters of your hearts...but I do want to protect them, with all that I am. So I ask that you let God use what words He has given me, and discard that which is of me. May you see the truth and love of God in your own heart...if yours is one of the hearts that God has put upon my own.






"The essence of a woman is Beauty." - Captivating


“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
You have stolen my heart
With one glance of your eyes,
With one jewel of your necklace…
You are a garden fountain,
A well of flowing water
Streaming down from Lebanon.” (Song 4:9,15)

“The king is enthralled by your beauty.” (Psalm 45:11)


You were created because God knew that something wasn’t quite right without you. In other words, God knew that you were needed, wanted, important.

“It’s not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)


Somewhere, deep down perhaps, you feel that statement to be true. However, It can be your curse if you don’t understand it correctly…it can lead you to believing that you have failed.

But please hear me out my dear sister: Beauty is the essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to you by God. It was given to you. Can I make the word "given" any more clear? The God of creation is beautiful, just by looking around you can see this truth. And God created you as a reflection of His beauty...yes, you.

"Beauty is powerful. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes. Beauty comforts. Beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God." - From Captivating



Beauty is the most essential and, yes, the most misunderstood of all the feminine qualities. I want you to hear me clearly...beauty is an essence every woman carries from the moment of her creation. The only things standing in the way of your beauty are your doubts, fears, and Satan...and perhaps any hiding and striving you fall into as a result.

When I knew that this was something that God was leading me to write, I didn't just seek books and verses. I sought two of my close friends (one guy and one girl) to help me see perspectives that I knew I might miss otherwise.

It was the latter of the two that shared the insight about Satan standing in the way of many girls that desire to know that they are truly beautiful. Perhaps you see that statement as a "duh" moment, but I want to share more of her explanation.

Satan is jealous of you. You heard me, he is very, very jealous. Why? Simple, because even Lucifer, the fallen angel, in all of his splendor...sees you for what you truly are...gorgeous. So how does the father of lies respond to his jealousy. He tries to strip your beauty from you...but he can't. Which means he goes for the next best thing...he convinces you of your own inadequacies.

Think about your image of physical beauty for a moment. I'd be willing to bet that it's the same image this world (with her pictures, movies, and "models") has in her mind as well. Let me be blunt, this world is not telling the truth...it turned from truth a long, long, long time ago....


“Beauty flow from a heart at rest.” - Captivating


That's why many of my guy friends and I don't find some of the "younger and more physically 'attractive' women to be as attractive as we're 'supposed' to."

Instead the beauty in those like our grandmothers, mothers, and sisters seems much more genuine. More attractive. For a man that is truly seeking after God...these are the beauties that he sees in the girl that he falls in love with. Not a girl that knows how to pull us in, but a girl that knows how to pull us out. :)

What's the difference in their beauty? Simple. Rest. A heart at rest.

Usually your beauty shines when you don’t even realize it, when you aren’t trying to make it come. The times that my guy friends and I have noticed the true beauty in each girl that we know, each girl that we care about, is when she allows her defenses to come down for a moment. Someone cares about your heart, wants to know you for who you are. That when your beauty emerges as if from behind a veil.

So the choice you have before you is to not try and conjure up beauty, but to let your defenses down. It’s painful and may go against all that you've known or tried…but to choose to set aside your normal means of survival and just let your heart show up...I believe, that's where you let your beauty shine more than ever.


“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." (1 Peter 3:3-4)


First, Peter is not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy wearing pretty things. What he’s trying to say is that true beauty comes from the inner part of you. Your heart. A heart at rest. To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace. Not a heart striving and restless.


A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God that he finds her beautiful , has deemed her worthy, and in Him, she is enough.

I've only met a small number of girls, of women, in my life that have fit this description. Just as I've known even less of us guys that fit the description of true manhood (including myself). But that's not something to discourage us...simply a reminder that we are still growing into the person that God already sees in us. He already see your beauty.


Remember? The only thing getting in the way of your true beauty and of your radiant, captivating, and sacred heart is the striving in your heart that Satan brings about with his lies.

Satan is already beaten dear one.

“He will quiet you with his love” (Zeph. 3:17)


Some of the most beautiful girls I have ever met showed qualities that God Himself shows us on a daily basis. "They exude a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invite those around them to rest as well. They speak comfort; knowing that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But they also know that because of God all is well, that all will be well."
- Captivating

“A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become.”


In the presence of a Lady of grace, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and He is good.


That is why you must keep asking. Ask Jesus to show you your beauty. Ask Him what He thinks of you as a woman. His words to you rest and unveil your beauty. Much like the Christian slave girl, Hadassah, in the Mark of the Lion trilogy. (Read it!) She is an embodiment of true beauty, not physically...because that doesn't matter. And never will. Outward Beauty fades. True Beauty, real beauty...it never does.

I mentioned earlier that often times the key to showing an inner beauty is offering your heart. I don’t want you to misunderstand. I’m talking about coming – unguarded, undistracted – and to be fully present, fully engaged with whoever you are with in that moment. "Have you noticed how in reading the Gospels that people enjoyed being around Jesus? They wanted to be near him – to share a meal, take a walk, have a lingering conversation. It was the gift of his presence. When you were with him, you felt he was offering you his heart. When you, when we, offer our unguarded presence, we live like Jesus. And you invite others to do the same." - Captivating

Trust me, this is one area where I do understand any fears of letting someone in, of letting your guard down for a friend or perhaps even a stranger....

You see, my greatest fear is this,”Do I have what it takes? Will giving each person a chance to see my heart come back to hurt me? Will they reject me? Will they leave me? Will they misunderstand? Will they trust? Will they love?”

And God's answer to my fears is always the same.

It's what I did for you, and yes, it hurt...but it's what freed you. I held nothing back, even when it cost me everything. Can you do the same for me? For them? Feed my sheep.


No man can tell you who you are as a woman.


No man is the verdict on your soul.

Dear sisters how many of you have lost yourself in this search?

Only God can tell you who you are. Only God can speak the answer you need to hear.

That is why romance with God should always come first. Let me repeat that. It comes first. It must. It has to.

Us men are far too unreliable of a source!



Your core validation, your primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until you look to him for the healing of your soul, your relationships are going to be hurt looking for to others, to people, for something only God can give you.


One of my friends, that I was talking to about this subject, brought up the verse, Genesis 3:16: “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you”.

At the time I wasn't sure how to look at the verse in a light that fit the situation...but I think I might understand it better now.


You see, there is an ache in Eve now that she tries to get Adam to fill. There is an emptiness given to her to drive her back to God, but she takes it to Adam instead. It makes a mess of many good relationships. We, Adam, can't fill your heart, doubts, or pains. Ever.


It's hard for us guys to admit it, but sometimes even when we see your beauty...we can't tell you so. Pride? Fear? Embarrassment? Being misinterpreted? Perhaps all of those and more....

But I'll say it now.

You are beautiful. You are incredibly and wonderfully made. God teaches us to see His beauty in you. And more often than not, even in failure, you remind us that there are things worth fighting for. So if you are in some way, shape, or form, plagued by insecurities, thoughts of not measuring up, belief that you aren't beautiful...stop listening to Satan. That's all there is to it beloved. May your light shine bright, and may the beauty that radiates within be unlocked so that all those outside can see the light as well!

You are God's bride, and what a glorious sight you are to behold! "A heart at rest."