Sinning Saint

I'm realizing more each day how difficult it is to truly live life righteously. Not to say that I'm living my life in evil, but is choosing to live a day without true dependence and focus on God...well, righteous?

Let me explain further, I am very aware of some of my strengths and virtues - and also aware of some of my weaknesses and sins. I used to believe that someone that loved, trusted, and believed in honoring and glorifying God, could live a righteous life with Jesus' help.

But I was missing something.

I can't live a righteous life with or without Jesus' help...I am covered in a righteous life - holy and sinless in the eyes of God...but not because of the deeds I try or don't try. It was my Savior's death on the cross that gave me a righteousness that I can't maintain or earn. A righteousness based on "documentation" and heritage rather than work or skill.

In layman's terms. I am a sinner and live with this fact every day of my life. And since believing in Jesus the Christ I am a saint in the eyes of God - Holy, set apart - every day of my life. Contradiction? Not according to our God.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not depressed about my earthly state of sinfulness, though DEFINITELY not proud of it. And I'm NOT arguing that we shouldn't TRY to live righteously and fight the good fight. I'm realizing that as we realize our own faults, sins, and failures - loving others becomes easier. Judging others becomes harder with these thoughts. Realizing my absolute longing, need, and dependence on God - becomes much easier too....

In conclusion,

I'm a walking contradiction (in earthly standards).

I believe in absolute Good and Evil, God and satan. I live for Christ, and yet for myself (the latter far, far more often...I'm ashamed to say.) I'm a "good" guy according to earthly terms, a daily sinner and failure according to the laws and truths given by God in His word, a man deserving of hell according to my views on my own hypocrisy, sins, actions, and thoughts...AND a man fully cleansed and redeemed, sinless, holy, and righteous according to God - through the price paid by my Kinsman Redeemer, Savior, Lord, and God - Jesus Christ.

My life is nothing without Him.

"Thank God for Jesus."